I just wanna be better.
...look better
...do better
It's so frustrating that no matter how good my plan is, I can't push through with it. Guess I have to change this attitude and plow mercilessly into what I want.
What is it that would keep me going when it gets tough?
I just want people I love to be proud of me. I wanna be happy. I wanna give and give until it hurts no more. I wanna have more than enough so each time somebody asks, I could give without restraint.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Noob Fashion Inspiration
Some outfit inspirations.. Thank God for picture blogs! At least I won't have to spend on magazines. Yeah, I could be stingy like that. Thanks to chictopia for these photos! :D
A perfect look for a relaxing weekend without looking too relaxed.
I was elated when I saw this dress 'coz I got a similar one. Finally, an addition to my everyday look!
This look is very wearable and simple.. You won't look as if you're trying too hard to be chic.
There's something about autumn fashion that's so romantic...
The blazer is sooooooooooooooooooo me! And I covet the shoes! I love mannish articles of clothing.
I love the booties and the dress! So wearable here in the Philippines! :D
A perfect look for a relaxing weekend without looking too relaxed.
I was elated when I saw this dress 'coz I got a similar one. Finally, an addition to my everyday look!
This look is very wearable and simple.. You won't look as if you're trying too hard to be chic.
There's something about autumn fashion that's so romantic...
The blazer is sooooooooooooooooooo me! And I covet the shoes! I love mannish articles of clothing.
I love the booties and the dress! So wearable here in the Philippines! :D
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Down
Now I know how Hanna must have felt whenever she messages Bill before and didn't get any reply. It feels awful. Do you recall the feeling you get when you extend your hand for a handshake, and yet the other person didn't seem to notice or purposely ignored you? That's what I'm feeling, only ten times worse.
See? Not even a like or any acknowledgment for that matter.
Maybe the reason why I'm like this is because when I wrote that I am expecting a sweet reply, or maybe we'll have a series of status comments goofing around. Anything, but no reaction!
And I can't force someone to say the L word if they don't feel like it, right? And besides.. I don't want to think anymore. Just let me eat and sleep in peace after this!
Stupid soap operas and high school romance animes! Stupid Twilight! Making me think that all boyfriends are as sweet as candy. Foolish me..
I'm super disappointed tuloy.
See? Not even a like or any acknowledgment for that matter.
Maybe the reason why I'm like this is because when I wrote that I am expecting a sweet reply, or maybe we'll have a series of status comments goofing around. Anything, but no reaction!
And I can't force someone to say the L word if they don't feel like it, right? And besides.. I don't want to think anymore. Just let me eat and sleep in peace after this!
Stupid soap operas and high school romance animes! Stupid Twilight! Making me think that all boyfriends are as sweet as candy. Foolish me..
I'm super disappointed tuloy.
Monday, October 4, 2010
First Rejection as an Instructor
Earlier this day, I went to UPHSL in Binan. With my beaming smile and an unemployed's enthusiasm, I pass my resume, thinking at the back of my head that the UP insignia would catch attention. True enough, as the recruiter scrutinized my resume, she stopped for a second when she saw where I graduated. As I was getting ready to leave and hear the line, "we'll call you for scheduling", I was instructed to buy a folder with fastener in their University Supplies Center. When I came back in the recruitment office, I was then given forms to fill out and psychology exams to answer. Piece of cake, really (I could be a braggart, I know). After the second test, the examiner gave me their list of pre-employment requirements, instructed me to come back after lunch to submit what I already have, and scheduled me for an interview. I left the university hopeful.
+++
It's scorching hot on my commute home, not to mention the presence of an aromatic (not!) garbage truck. I don't have any issues with the garbage people, but man, they sure stink!
My stomach seemed ready to erupt due to hunger, but I kept it at bay. I chanted the mantra "I'll just eat at home, I'll just eat at home" repeatedly. I have to save every penny I could since
two people (me and Ian) are living off my meager allowance for the meantime.
I'm getting dizzy trying to search for a Cebuana Lhuiller that is within walking distance. No such luck. Gotta have a tricycle ride for 9php to get to one.
After wiring the money, I faced a predicament: spend 21php or get burnt while walking home in noontime? I chose the latter. I know right, I could(!) be a cheapskate. Pfft.
When mom arrived home, I was arranging my pre-employee requirements and excitedly told her about what happened and what is about to happen. Like any good mother in the world, she encouraged me and said that I could do it.
I left the house in high spirits.
+++
I was immediately given an essay questionnaire when I've reached the examiner's question. "What do you expect from this job?", I read number 1. Aha! Easy! "What motivates you?" - ooh! This will be fun! I tried to finish all essay questions in less than 30 minutes. Also, I noticed that i write slower than before, maybe because I don't have enough practice lately. There and then, the fire of my being an author dream ignited! I have to write better and faster next time. I can't be reckless.
+++
Interview period...
Interiewer: "Are you a LET passer?"
Eli: "No, Ma'am."
I: "Do you have a Masteral degree?"
E: "None yet, but I'll be enrolling next semester."
I: *while looking at my resume* "Are you a Psychology grad?"
E: "Sociology."
I: "Do you have counselling experience?"
E: ...
I: "I'm sorry. It's either you need a LET or Master's. Or a Psychology degree to at least be a guidance counselor."
E: "I'm applying for instructor, ma'am."
I: "You need to at least be a Psychology graduate."
E: "I may not be a Psych graduate, but I have units. And if you'll look in my Psych grades, they're excellent."
I: "Yes, they are.. But still, you're not a graduate."
E: ...
I: "Anyway, I'll be keeping this for... *yadda, yadda* You may apply again when you have your Master's degree."
E: *smiles* "No, thank you."
FAIL!!!
You guessed right. I left the university crushed.
+++
I didn't bother riding a tricycle back home. I felt so down, I want to walk off all the negativeness I felt.
While walking home.. I felt a little better because I realized that they're not the ONLY university. There are still hundreds more. I just have to try again and again until I'm accepted.
Screw LET certification, Master's, or Psychology degree (stress: for the moment)! I'll earn them one at a time, eventually.
+++
It's scorching hot on my commute home, not to mention the presence of an aromatic (not!) garbage truck. I don't have any issues with the garbage people, but man, they sure stink!
My stomach seemed ready to erupt due to hunger, but I kept it at bay. I chanted the mantra "I'll just eat at home, I'll just eat at home" repeatedly. I have to save every penny I could since
two people (me and Ian) are living off my meager allowance for the meantime.
I'm getting dizzy trying to search for a Cebuana Lhuiller that is within walking distance. No such luck. Gotta have a tricycle ride for 9php to get to one.
After wiring the money, I faced a predicament: spend 21php or get burnt while walking home in noontime? I chose the latter. I know right, I could(!) be a cheapskate. Pfft.
When mom arrived home, I was arranging my pre-employee requirements and excitedly told her about what happened and what is about to happen. Like any good mother in the world, she encouraged me and said that I could do it.
I left the house in high spirits.
+++
I was immediately given an essay questionnaire when I've reached the examiner's question. "What do you expect from this job?", I read number 1. Aha! Easy! "What motivates you?" - ooh! This will be fun! I tried to finish all essay questions in less than 30 minutes. Also, I noticed that i write slower than before, maybe because I don't have enough practice lately. There and then, the fire of my being an author dream ignited! I have to write better and faster next time. I can't be reckless.
+++
Interview period...
Interiewer: "Are you a LET passer?"
Eli: "No, Ma'am."
I: "Do you have a Masteral degree?"
E: "None yet, but I'll be enrolling next semester."
I: *while looking at my resume* "Are you a Psychology grad?"
E: "Sociology."
I: "Do you have counselling experience?"
E: ...
I: "I'm sorry. It's either you need a LET or Master's. Or a Psychology degree to at least be a guidance counselor."
E: "I'm applying for instructor, ma'am."
I: "You need to at least be a Psychology graduate."
E: "I may not be a Psych graduate, but I have units. And if you'll look in my Psych grades, they're excellent."
I: "Yes, they are.. But still, you're not a graduate."
E: ...
I: "Anyway, I'll be keeping this for... *yadda, yadda* You may apply again when you have your Master's degree."
E: *smiles* "No, thank you."
FAIL!!!
You guessed right. I left the university crushed.
+++
I didn't bother riding a tricycle back home. I felt so down, I want to walk off all the negativeness I felt.
While walking home.. I felt a little better because I realized that they're not the ONLY university. There are still hundreds more. I just have to try again and again until I'm accepted.
Screw LET certification, Master's, or Psychology degree (stress: for the moment)! I'll earn them one at a time, eventually.
I Will (A Vow)
I will...
*be the best mother my children and apprentices could ever have.. :)
*provide everything they need
*support them all the way - in their passions, decisions, and growing up stage
*not tolerate their whims
*spend as much time as possible with them
*kiss and hug them until they reach the certain age wherein they'll be too embarrassed by it
*cook for them
*listen to their stories
*have fun with them
*live what i teach them
*persevere to succeed in life for them
*make sure that they'll be proud of me, my husband, our family, and themselves
My three favorite cousins aka apprentices - Emman, Banjie, Eline
Since Ian and I don't have our own family yet, I'll just be the best daughter for my mom for the meantime. :)
*be the best mother my children and apprentices could ever have.. :)
*provide everything they need
*support them all the way - in their passions, decisions, and growing up stage
*not tolerate their whims
*spend as much time as possible with them
*kiss and hug them until they reach the certain age wherein they'll be too embarrassed by it
*cook for them
*listen to their stories
*have fun with them
*live what i teach them
*persevere to succeed in life for them
*make sure that they'll be proud of me, my husband, our family, and themselves
My three favorite cousins aka apprentices - Emman, Banjie, ElineSince Ian and I don't have our own family yet, I'll just be the best daughter for my mom for the meantime. :)
Friday, October 1, 2010
Materialistic Wishes for the Next 12 Months
I'm not a big fan of splurging or shopping sprees, but it doesn't mean my eyes don't go wide as saucers when I see a coveted gadget, or my dream car, or a gorgeous article of clothing for that matter. Also, close friends and family would often say that I slave for work, but tend to forget to reward my self for a job well done. So to remedy that and finally realize my self-worth, I'll be creating this wish list.
When my spirits are low, or when I'm needing that mental kick on the butt to shake me from seasonal laziness, I'll just reread this blog for a surge of competitiveness. Haha. You may wonder 'competition with whom?' - with my complacent and passive self.
1. Canon EOS Rebel T2i
Current price: $899.99 (x43 = Php38,699.57)
I know I already have a digicam, but I realized during cosplay events that it was a haste to have bought it in the first place. It just doesn't capture what you want to achieve. So there, I want a noob photographer's dslr for my 22nd birthday. And also to further enhance my skills and fuel my interest in photography.
2. Apple MacBook
Current price: $999 (x43 = Php42,957)
I'm not really in a hurry to buy a MacBook, or any laptops for the coming months, since I'll be staying at home and have a PC here, so this isn't a need. However(!), if a good soul (I'm hoping my big bro or uncle) would gift me this, that would be very, very great.
3. Kotseng Kuba / Volkswagen Beetle
Current price: I should be able to strike a maximum of Php20,000 deal + Php10,000 for overhauling and painting jobs
KYAAAAA!!! My first ever dream car! I want mine shiny black with a white gothic spray paint of 'death note' on one side. I've totally wanted this since high school. Hopefully, I'll be able to earn enough to finally afford one in the next 12 months. *fingers crossing*
4. Blender
Current price: Php700-1,000. But I'm expecting this as a gift though. :)
Now, don't go and give me that WTF look. I recently discovered that I have a potential in cooking, so having a blender would make me improve on my new craft. And hey, who doesn't want a healthy and inexpensive fruit shake available anytime you want?
So there! Hopefully, I'll be able to give my damndest to achieve these things for the coming 12 months. So I'll be working and earning my best every single day. :)
When my spirits are low, or when I'm needing that mental kick on the butt to shake me from seasonal laziness, I'll just reread this blog for a surge of competitiveness. Haha. You may wonder 'competition with whom?' - with my complacent and passive self.
1. Canon EOS Rebel T2i
Current price: $899.99 (x43 = Php38,699.57)
I know I already have a digicam, but I realized during cosplay events that it was a haste to have bought it in the first place. It just doesn't capture what you want to achieve. So there, I want a noob photographer's dslr for my 22nd birthday. And also to further enhance my skills and fuel my interest in photography.
2. Apple MacBook
Current price: $999 (x43 = Php42,957)
I'm not really in a hurry to buy a MacBook, or any laptops for the coming months, since I'll be staying at home and have a PC here, so this isn't a need. However(!), if a good soul (I'm hoping my big bro or uncle) would gift me this, that would be very, very great.
3. Kotseng Kuba / Volkswagen Beetle
Current price: I should be able to strike a maximum of Php20,000 deal + Php10,000 for overhauling and painting jobs
KYAAAAA!!! My first ever dream car! I want mine shiny black with a white gothic spray paint of 'death note' on one side. I've totally wanted this since high school. Hopefully, I'll be able to earn enough to finally afford one in the next 12 months. *fingers crossing*
4. Blender
Current price: Php700-1,000. But I'm expecting this as a gift though. :)
Now, don't go and give me that WTF look. I recently discovered that I have a potential in cooking, so having a blender would make me improve on my new craft. And hey, who doesn't want a healthy and inexpensive fruit shake available anytime you want?
So there! Hopefully, I'll be able to give my damndest to achieve these things for the coming 12 months. So I'll be working and earning my best every single day. :)
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